Friday, April 19, 2013

Massimo-2, The Catholic Church-0

So this is the BIG weekend!
Mass is finally celebrating his First Holy Communion.
It has been QUITE the process getting him here.

First off, he did not want to do this. AT ALL.
Mass believes in God but has no use for "organized religion".

I told Seb right from the get go that perhaps since it means so little to Mass (actually gives him GREAT anxiety), we should just skip it. Even for a year (not that it would make any difference I'm guessing). But church is very important to Seb and since he is the practicing Catholic, I'm going along with it.

Some of you may remember that right off the bat we had trouble. Mass had to go and go and reconcile himself with God last fall. (Confession).  Once he found out that he was going to have to go and confess his sins to the Priest he flat out stated that it was "none of the Priest's business" what he had done wrong.
Of course I agree. But anyhoo... off we went. Mass told a bunch of lies about things he really hadn't done, said a few "Our Father's and Hail Mary's" and we peeled out of the parking lot to carry on with our day.

Mass -1, Catholic Church -0

This past Sunday, we had to go for the final prep class. They took a tour through the church with the lovely instructor explaining all of the statues and stained glass and saints painted on the wall. Mass dragged his ass through the whole thing doing his best to look bored. Every so often I caught his eye and gave him the Mom death stare. He would straighten up for a few. (stupidly, I had forgotten to read him the riot act before we got there so .. apparently he was forgetting to behave himself!)

They went up to the front of the church to where the Alter is located. The lovely instructor told them that she was going to give them a sample of the bread that they would be eating. (so there wouldn't be any funny business with some jerk *Mass* spitting it out during the actual ceremony)

In case you are new or have fallen and hit your head so that you've forgotten who we are dealing with...
He only has about 4 or 5 things that he will eat and if you try to force anything else on him.. he will gag, throw up.. all the bad stuff. (a spoiled little drama queen King)
So I sat there very nervous.
All I could see was the back of his crazy little head.
Everyone tried the bread and they all weighed in on what they thought it tasted like.
Some popular answers were..
"Bread" (how original eh)
"Nothing" and..
"The cone from an ice cream cone".. (which is the description that Massimo latched onto in the days following)

They all came back to sit with their proud (well mostly) parents.
I looked at Mass and smiled, asking him how he liked it.
He smiled nervously at me, confessing that he didn't take any.

Massimo-2 ,  Catholic Church-0

I've been reminding him all week, off and on that he will HAVE TO take it on Sunday. He just keeps saying to me...

"Do I like ice cream cones?? Do I??? No I don't"

I have a terrible feeling that he will take it and stick it in his pocket. (which is probably better than him throwing up all over the place I suppose).

Anyhow.. wish us luck! Our family may have to go into hiding after this weekend. I'm sure that some sort of embarrassment will come out of it all.

I'll let you know.

(as if this kid isn't embarrassing enough... even on a good day! ;)


Kim said...

these are the moments you are going to remember forever. Here's to hoping if he doesn't take it he is at least a little discreet about hiding it :) When I was young they used to place it on your tongue-you had to open your mouth for them- do they not do that anymore?

Laura said...

Kim-Some of the older crowd (like our age plus) do but not very many anymore. They certainly do not encourage the kids to accept it that way during instruction.
I'm 99 percent sure he's going to hide it somewhere on his person.

Of course he does go to Catholic school where they have Mass frequently. He may as well get used to it!

Rob-bear said...

Great outfit there for first communion. Perfect colour for Pentecost!

Blessings and Bear hugs!

Laura said...

Rob- he IS very colourful! Thanks-Im sure it's going to all be interesting. ;)

Eileen said...

This made me laugh and I really needed the laugh today. I'm with your son all the way. :)

Laura said...

Eileen- Happy to have provided a giggle. I think that in some ways, we all get where Mass-man is coming from. ;)

Eileen said...

Oh yeah. lol

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Maybe he'll get lucky and the consecrated host will burst into flame as soon as he touches it.

Or, you could ask for a "gluten free" host so he could get something he actually likes... maybe a corn chip or something.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Glutton free host!!!

Laura said...

Big B and Thunder- You don't know how much I wish that I had been the idiot Mum that asked if The Host was Gluten Free. Why didn't I blog about this sooner??!

squirrel_e_girl said...

"Team Massimo" all the way!!!

I might have to get a tshirt made up.

Laura said...

Karen- I should set up a kiosk at the mall. I could make a pretty penny! ;p

squirrel_e_girl said...

Don't you already have a "kiosk" ? ;)

Laura said...

Karen- I have a full on store.

That I could use to sell "Team Massimo" shirts!

You're a damn genius girl!

squirrel_e_girl said...

You catch on quickly, Grasshopper.
Well Done.

Laura said...

Karen- if you give me a minute, I figure stuff out! ;P

Rob-bear said...

Um, OK. This is Sunday afternoon.

Did you survive Massimo's First Communion this morning, Laura?
Also, did Mass survive his First Communion?
And did Seb survive?

We're waiting for all the (gory?) details.

Blessings and Bear hugs!
Bears Noting

Laura said...

Rob- I'm soooooooooooo exhausted. I promise to give a full account tomorrow.
Thanks for thinking of us!