Wednesday, May 15, 2013

People Can Be Cruel.

People are really on my last nerve.
In the last couple of days, I've witnessed a couple of "incidents" that have kind of ticked me off and I'm left thinking that people really need to chill out.

On Monday morning, I went to Target. I parked my van and started walking into the store. In the parking lot an older lady had stopped and was waiting for a parking spot. In the car behind her, a younger woman (in her 30's), jumped out of the car and ran up to the older woman.. tapping on her window.

The older lady put her window down and the younger one started SCREAMING at her.
"Do you know that you went through a red light back there?"
(obviously young woman had followed old lady into the parking lot)
I couldn't hear what the older lady was saying but she looked upset.
Younger woman kept it up...
"I had my daughter in the car and we were going to make a left turn. If we had, you would have smashed right into us!"..
I kept walking (I had parked far away from the front door in a feeble attempt to walk my fat ass off)... but looked back as I got to the store. The younger woman had her arms flailing and was yelling, yelling, yelling!

Today I was at Tim Horton's getting a soup. I was waiting in a loooong line up when something going on at one of the cash registers caught my attention. A woman was berating the cashier because she didn't know how to make the correct change off the top of her head. (I'm guessing that the customer had added something in to make the change even after the cashier had already punched in the cash). On and on she went... I'm not talking about a few seconds.. it was a good 10 minutes. In the end, she was fighting about 10 cents.
Is it really worth making someone feel STUPID over 10 lousy cents???

Anyhow my point is this. We are a bunch of MEAN people.
Sure, the older lady shouldn't have gone through the light. It's very dangerous. But come on... I'm willing to bet that almost everyone has accidently gone through a red light at least once in their driving career! I know I have. I'd be surprised if the screamer hadn't done it herself. She could have waited for the older lady to park and then approached her.. telling her what had happened and ask her to be more careful.
I actually regret not getting myself involved in that one. I should have gone over and told her that she'd made her point now .. move the frig on!!!!!

At the doughnut shop I just rolled my eyes at the cashier to let her know that as a fellow math challenged sistah, I felt her pain.
The more that woman ragged on her.. the more upset she got... the less she was able to think clearly. I get that.

I guess my point is.. think about how you'd want someone to treat and speak to YOUR mother or grandmother or your daughter. (or father/son).  How would you feel if someone you loved made a mistake and were made a fool out of over it .. in front of a lot of people?
Not very good I'm guessing.... :(


Darlene said...

Laura, I love you. You are amazing. And I agree with you. We can be so stinking hard on one another. Loved this post.

justagirl said...

When teaching Rachel to drive she was going slower than the older "gentleman" behind liked and he proceeded to give her the finger when he passed us! It has taught me to be a more patient driver because you never know who might be learning.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And don't get me started on the person who stole the Canon G15 outta my car last week!

Rob-bear said...

People who explode over small matters may be carrying heavy burdens. At least that's what the Bear thinks.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

On and on she went... I'm not talking about a few seconds.. it was a good 10 minutes.

Who the hell has that kind of time to waste?

And don't get me started on the person who stole the Canon G15 outta my car last week!

Thunder, that's so awful. You've taken such beautiful pictures with that camera.

Furtheron said...

Once I was on a course thing run by a very clever man - he was some well know clinical psychologist or somesuch.

We were talking about this kind of thing - you know people berating people and how those being berated might react, both then and long term in a longer term relationship (the course was largely about Transactional Analysis btw...)

Anyway someone said "My Mum always said "Treat others as you would like to be treated"". Many others agreed with that sentiment - and it isn't a bad one... but the wise old guy running the course winced and said... "Really? But actually shouldn't you treat them how they'd like to be treated?" Good point and of course then the thing is that your view of what is good for you is not necessarily good for them and also how will you ever know how others wish to be treated if you never take the time to find out about them...

One of those moments in my life where a new philosophy suddenly hit many of my preconceptions. I may act in a kind, considerate way as much as I think but that may not be how it is interpreted by the other person ...

Having said all that - the people you exemplify in your post are simply dorks... :-)

Námo Mandos said...

I blame the fact that it's Target now and not Zeller's.

Vee said...

Good points. We could say the thing we need to say in a firm AND kind way. It is possible.

Kim said...

I think that people are in too much of a hurry and too absorbed by their own problems to stop and think about others anymore. Wonderful post Laura-I think it has made us all stop and think about how we act towards others.

Randal Graves said...

Damn kids these days.

Kim nailed it, and what's so insidious is that is often doesn't stem from any malevolent villainy. People are genuinely taken aback when called out on it. The fact that the world doesn't revolve around them doesn't even register, whether it's something small like cellphone rudeness or bigger stuff like the examples here.

blue girl said...

Hi Laura, I read a quote recently that stuck with me: "All obnoxious acts are a cry for help." Which I think is so true! Although when you're on the receiving end of those obnoxious acts, it's hard to figure out what to do in the moment. I think what Vee said about being firm and kind is a goal!

"But actually shouldn't you treat them how they'd like to be treated?"

Depends on motives. You'll be in quicksand very quickly if you find yourself with a very selfish, manipulative person.

Good post, Laura!

And thunder, if you are reading this: I am so sorry!!!

Laura said...

Darlene~ Yep. We can treat each other pretty crapily (is that a word??). Love you too!!!

Justagirl~ Great point! Who knows what's going on with the other people!

Thunder~ OH no!! That's awful. :( I'm so sorry.

Bear~ Very true. :(

Big B~ I was wondering the same thing. She seemed to be in a hurry and that was the vibe she was giving off. I guess being right was more important!

Furtheron~ Those are interesting points. Something to think about...

N.M.~ Target looks A LOT like Zellers! They may as well have left it! No "Skillet" though.. just a "Starbucks". It will be the downfall of the store!

Vee~ Exactly. We don't have to "go after" each other.

Kim~ You're right. I've been guilty of it myself!

Randal~ Right on!

Blue Girl~ It is hard to decide what to do in the moment. Especially if you are on the receiving end and not just a bystander. It feels very hurtful.
Thanks!!! :)